Raising kind kids

I like America's Funniest Home Videos. One video shown often is of a small child playing with a kid's golf set. He takes a swing, smiles at the camera, and is happy. His mother, behind the camera, tells him to "play like daddy plays golf." The child repeats the swing but then throws the putter and swears.

Aside from being good for a chuckle, it also illustrates how kids pick up on almost everything adults do. It also suggests a sure-fire way of teaching: modeling. When you teach a child to tie a shoe, or properly cast a fishing line, or throw a frisbee, chances are you'll use modeling. Isn't it always so simple to show a child what we want them to do, rather than explaining all the "why's" and "how's?" Modeling even works for things we don't necessarily want to teach. Think about the child I mentioned on the video. Did his dad know he was teaching his child how to play golf?

Bullying is a major problem in schools today, and like any behavior, it has its roots in the early grades. We teach our students to be kind and to use their feeling words, as part of a larger approach to bullying within the guidance curriculum. But we can't exist in a bubble. Parents are their child's first teachers and often larger-than-life role models. Modeling kind behavior is a must for parents, who teach their kids life lessons even when they don't think they are.

Some tips for modeling:

• Talk with young children about their feelings. Teach them to use feeling words and I-messages (I feel ____ when you ____ and I want you to ____)
• Speak well of others
• Hold a door open for someone behind you
• In a store line, let someone with one or two items go ahead of you
• Send a card or bring food to a grieving or sick friend
• Talk about being gracious winners on the field

Through modeling good behaviors, both from parents at home and faculty/staff at school, we can make great strides in raising kind kids and curbing the bullying problem.

Source: Diamond, L.H. (2008, May-June). It pays to be nice: tips for raising kind kids. ASCA School Counselor, 48.